WHY do I do this???

I shouted out this question in my head the other day. And no, I don't shout out loud most of the time, but I shout lots in my head when I'm frustrated or upset......it's a sort-of prayer - venting at God, then stepping back to look at myself and hear myself.....and laughing at my ridiculous self-pity, whinging or completely untrue babbling. Prayer is so good for being objective!

Anyway, so this week has been a little more full-on than the rest. I had medical tests on Tuesday (they're all normal normal normal, there's no need to worry, etc etc....), J-man has had temperatures for two days and has now come down with a chunky cough, Miss D has a yucko cough which started last night AND on top of all that, my husband had appendicitis and was in surgery last night to have it taken out. He's home now and thanks to my prayer warriors and the great team at Toowoomba Base Hospital, he's doing really well.

In the midst of all this, I have, like I do every week, tried to keep things going. I feel like I'm treading water like mad but only my head and neck get above water.

So, the other day, in a fit of frustration (oh, ok....maybe a pinch of self-pity in there too), I ranted and raved to God about why I even BOTHER cleaning the vanity bench top when my children tend to put more toothpaste on the bench than they do their toothbrushes, or why my eldest son feels the need to pull all his (folded and organised) clothes out of his cupboard and shove them all back in again for absolutely no reason......why do I bother washing wet undies for a daughter who can't be bothered to use the toilet?

.....or why my children thought it a good idea to lick the chair in the ED yesterday - WHO LICKS CHAIRS for crying out loud and WHY WHY WHY in the most disgusting, germ-ridden, infectious place in the city? Why do I bother sweeping the floor when I know that there will be rice, vita-brits and pasta stuck there after every single meal time......why do I even bother opening my mouth to say to my children, "Walk in the house!" when it's perfectly obvious that they care not a jot about slipping and cracking their bones on the floor......why do I bother when Denna picks up the Sao packet and it rips open, spilling the entire packet in the dirt?........

......why do I do this thing called mothering? Why do I have four of the little suckers literally hanging off me at various points during my day? Why is it me that had to give up my dream career (NOT) wrestling with other people's dodgy parenting and the nice wage? Why have my breasts and other body parts been irrevocably scarred in this process? Why did I choose this? What was I thinking when I fell pregnant each time?

Augh.

Thankfully, God is gracious. And good. And patient.

*sigh*

When I thought about it: Why do I DO this?, I was reminded:

I do this because it's God's command. When Noah and his family stepped off the ark, God said, "Go forth and mulitiply." God also said to the Israelites, "Go and get married, make lots of babies and have a full-on wonderful life". Well, maybe not exactly like that. But it's there in Jeremiah 29:4-7.

Through living in obedience to God comes great blessing - breastfeeding reduces your risk of breast cancer and using your womb reduces your risk of a host of other diseases and conditions. Having children can improve your health - wow! (Check out Above Rubies for more info on this!)

And the final reminder I got this week was from my darling 4 1/2 year old who's going through a cuddly streak at the moment. I've lost count of the number of times she's said just out of the blue, "Mum, I love you." and my heart just about bursts with joy and gratitude. I'm sure God's prompted her this week because I've really needed it!

Cuddles, kisses, pictures of me with my head ten times bigger than my body and "I love you's" are like a drug that gets me through hours of cleaning, washing, tidying, dealing with faeces/urine/vomit/snot/drool/squished food, children licking objects they really shouldn't and me endlessly repeating my standard lines, "Stay close to me, please."/"Don't touch anything!"/"Be quiet!"/"Walk, don't run."/"Eat up, please."/"LISTEN."

So, that's why I do what I do...day in, day out...'coz God says to do it and like all things to do with God, He knows what's best for us even if we don't.

Comments

  1. Gosh things have been a bit full-on this week! Hope everything goes okay and Ben recovers quickly. Thanks for the reminder for the 'Why we do this'.... some days it just feels like it's too much work, but it really is worth it- for so many reasons!

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  2. I laughed almost all the way through this post (except for the bit about Ben, obviously - praying he heals quickly). When my MIL was in hospital last year, Matthew would lick the hospital bedrails..... I almost vomited at the thought of it, but the more I told him not to, the more he did it.... he used to lick everything he could get his tongue onto, and he still occasionally licks me when he goes to give me a kiss..... hang in there, you are doing a wonderful job!

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