Beyond the Edge of Adventure

I'm a disgustingly fast reader. I was reading Enid Blyton at age 6 and Carolyn Keene at age 9. I am absorbed by good narratives, often feeling connected to the fate of the characters and so my primary aim, of course, is to find out what happens to them in the end. If the narrative is good enough, I re-read it and absorb details that I miss the first time around. I started reading Redeeming Love on Sunday night - and finished it last night. That's a bit quicker than my normal pace, because a) I had the time to read, b) I enjoyed reading the novel and c) I wanted to finish it and post this review! So don't think I've given this novel a thorough reading. I mean, I read it - but not the delicate details. I didn't absorb all the romance and nuances completely. Redeeming Love enthralled and absorbed me. The writing style is emphatic, defined and moves at a good pace, yet is romantic and soft too. The plot is from the Bible, so it's a re-telling, really. It...

I'm tired all the time now. I wake up and don't want to get up. My jeans don't fit me and I have to keep pulling them up. I used to be able to eat a big meal and then some more. Now I struggle to finish an average-sized meal. I feel sick if I try to eat what I used to eat. It's a struggle to keep weight on. I'm skinny. Thin. Slender. 'Looking great'. Whatever. I'm still me. I'm still me. In the morning I take a pill and wash it down with various vitamins and herbal tinctures. I take some more herbal tincture before bed. Sometimes it's hard to remember that I have to do it. When I do remember, it feels good to do something positive for myself. To help myself. I can't remember what I did last week. I can't think about what I'll be doing next week unless it's really, really, important or exciting. I'm so tired. But I'm still me. I still like doing exciting things. I still like to do good things. Be organised. Be...

Women, we need each other. I've peered long and hard into the swirling dusty air in the aftermath of my recent breakdown. As things have slowly begun to settle, weak rays of sunlight are filtering through - one by one. The brightest shaft of sunlight beaming down into my weak and frazzled mind this week is that women need other women. Alan Pease , the author of 'Why Men Don't Listen and Women Can't Read Road Maps' says that women speak 20000 - 24000 words per day, while men speak 7000 - 10000. That to me suggests that perhaps instead of verbally vomiting on our husbands when they get home from work, women need to speak with other women. We need to talk out things. It helps us think and process! I love talking with my husband. He's very patient with my verbal vomits. He's also a very active and objective listener who gives good advice. But I'll admit that I do prefer talking to my friends about some things, because they understand better. It'...

So....I had more therapy today. I love it. An hour talking to someone about my crazy thought patterns and how this mess happened is so therapeutic. Well, of course. It's THERAPY. It's like digging out a splinter. It hurts to dig, but once it's not digging into you or swelling up because some nice person dug it out for you (or helped you dig it out), the relief is tremendous. You sit there, looking at the tiny spot of wood in your palm, scratching your head and thinking: "That tiny thing caused all that pain?" It's amazing how tiny things like harsh words, disdainful attitudes and a lack of physical affirmation over a childhood has the real potential to destroy a person. Slowly. From the inside out. But, thanks to modern psychology, those tiny splinters can be dug out. Then you can apply the soothing cream or bathe it to kill the lingering germs and watch it heal. I've been blown away lately by the thoughtfulness of so many beautiful people. We ...

What is it about looking back that seems to make more sense sometimes? Why is it that when you look back, you can see how things have reached the point they have in the present moment - but when you're in the present moment you can't see beyond it? Do you ever wonder about God's timing and why he allows things to happen that appear to waste your youth, leaving you approaching middle-age with heavy burdens that you haven't been able to off-load? Facing these questions and the answers to them is scary and humbling. But one thing I do know. Romans 8:38-39 "For I am convinced that neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither the present nor the future, nor any powers, neither height nor depth, nor anything else in all creation, will be able to separate us from the love of God that is in Christ Jesus our Lord." I am so glad that I am able to face the challenges in life knowing that the One who created me loves me and is with me.

So. The other day I learned how far I have come since my last time struggling with anxiety. I was shocked to discover that I hadn't progressed one single centimetre from that horrible place. Not one . It was like a switch that transported me instantly back in time to almost three years ago when I would lie down for afternoon rest time with trepidation and most days I would be terrified to move because all I could think about was harming myself. When everything seemed to be such a big effort. Making dinner. Grocery shopping. Putting my feet on the floor first thing in the morning. Hugging my children. When I would have moments of really bad dejavu where my head would swim and my limbs would go hot and tingly and I couldn't stand up straight until it was over. Then I'd be even more tired. When I would be so ridiculously tired from being heavily pregnant with my fourth baby and coping with all that was placed on my head and my heart yet still unable to fall asleep at...

So, I bought this book a few months ago. I bought it because although it's full of diet tips some of which I can't necessarily use, it also contains information on fitness, hormones and sex. Since it's written by two mums (sisters - Serene Allison and Pearl Barrett), one with eleven children and one with five, I thought that if they have tips for fitness, general healthy stuff and of course, sex - then the tips will be practical, easy and most importantly of all: they will work! These women are serious about being healthy and have made a LOT of mistakes, which they freely admit. Personally, I think that makes them ideal people to listen to, rather than someone who hasn't. I'm not going to review the book except to say that every mum needs to purchase one! You can get a copy from The Book Depository for around $30 delivered. I just wanted to share a few things from the book that I found amazing. I'm going to talk about sex again, so just scroll down past the ...

In the interests of - well - staying happily married, my husband and I are launching a new little project. It's called 'The Date Night Box'. Isn't it cute? It's my husband's idea - we were always thinking of awesome date night ideas, then forgetting about them! So, the other night we wrote down our ideas. I thought we'd just get a few ideas down, since we were both really tired. But no, we got started and just kept going! We thought of 22 ideas for date night! That's over five months worth of weekly date nights! Wow! We need somewhere to store these wonderful ideas, of course. And since Ben's not using his index cards that he bought for his study, he suggested putting them to good use - cut them up, write our ideas down and store them in a cute little box. That way, when we book in a date night, we've got an idea ready to go, instead of falling for the usual "Oh, let's just watch a DVD." thing. These ideas are what we...

Yesterday, I dropped four of our children with their grandparents for three nights. Since I had driven five hours that day, I hadn't had any wonderful ideas for dinner. Thankfully, my husband often does!   After I picked him up from work, this is where we went and what we ate!   It was a half hour drive from his work. We chatted on the way and I tried to figure out where we were going - it was a surprise and I adore surprises!   As we got further and further along on our trip, I realised I was tired. I was sick of the car and I just wanted to lie down and rest! I had been to the beach, so was sticky and sandy. I longed for a shower.   On the tip of my lips was the question, "Is it much further? I'm really tired." But I held back and reminded myself that my husband had spent time thinking about where to take me and had gone and purchased some items for dinner in an interesting-looking paper bag that reminded me of deli food - one of my favourite...