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Showing posts from February, 2012

How it Happened.....I mean, I know HOW it happened......but....y'know!

I realised I haven't told 'the story'.......about how little 'Twinkle' came into existence.

I've been praying big time about our family and our fertility. During December, I realised that if we were to fall pregnant in that month, we would be expecting in September. So, I prayed - "God, if I could just have this year off to get the house in order and settle our family, then I'll happily have another baby for you....just next December.....I'm just so tired...." and blah, blah, blah.......

He said 'No.'

Little did I know, that despite following all the 'family planning' rules, I was probably already pregnant by the time I was rather arrogantly praying that prayer.

The thing is, I'd LOVE a September baby. September 1st in one of my favourite days of the year: spring arrives! Matthew was due in late September and I stupidly expected him to arrive on his due date. He was ten days overdue. In my pathetic way, I've always desi…

Sometimes, you just need to toughen up.

Two things happened recently which reminded me that sometimes, you just need to swallow the complaints, whinging and excuses and get on with it.

I was at church on my own with all the children and feeling blargh (I was pregnant but didn't know it at the time). Had to wait for ages for someone to get something for me so I could go home. Had the baby in the pram, fourteen.....oh, alright.....it was about four, bags hanging off the pram, plus my three eldest children, whom I always make hold onto the pram when we go near the road.

As I walked out of church, huffy, tired, hungry and sick, I heard everyone else sipping their coffee and having a great time chatting. Suddenly, a shrill voice in my head blurted out, "Why doesn't someone HELP me?". I limped out of church with all my encumberances feeling dejected, flat and quite honestly, jealous. Then, my sweet Lord, who is always so gentle with my tantrums gently reminded me, "Julie, it's your choice to have these …

Feelings

Today did not start well. I felt like I was sitting in my smug happy-Christian blanket on a jetty, enjoying the 5am sunrise.......and next minute I felt like I'd been knocked into the icy water and left clinging to the side of the jetty, gasping for breath and wondering, "Where in the heck did that come from?"

It's not a big deal. After the baby woke me at 5am and I couldn't get Woollies online to work and then I read a blog post that dragged up a heap of emotions all at once and then I had to make breakfast while feeling nauseous but not able to get time to feed myself to relieve said nausea and after our prep girl wee-ed her only remaining pair of school skorts, I was a little cranky. Just a little.

I had a bit of a rant. Kicked a toy.......

....and wondered why I was being so horrid! Normally I can talk myself out of a funk. Not today.

I had to go grocery shopping (since the stupid online thing wasn't working!), so Ben offered to come with me, despite the …