I just HAD to write about this: my other favourite subject!

Before you read my post, you need to read the article up for discussion on this blog: http://community.wegohealth.com/group/womenshealth/forum/topics/sex-education-for-young-wives?commentId=2028394%3AComment%3A75506&groupId=2028394%3AGroup%3A1051

......isn't it a HOOT?! :D

So, since I'm a bit of a fan of sex (hey - you don't have four babies in five-and-a-half years because you're a fan of Scrabble!), I just wanted to comment on it - because some parts I agree with and some I don't.

Firstly, the bit about 'not pressuring him into stimulating intimacy' - whatever. I think it's a huge blessing to a husband when his wife gives him the come-on, rather than him always having to ask!

Secondly, I'm pretty sure God made sex for mutual enjoyment and I'm pretty sure, after reading Julie Sibert's wonderful blog (intimacyinmarriage.com), that men prefer their wives to enjoy sex, too. So, 'registering your reluctance by silence' and making a small moan to encourage him, in my opinion, is wrong and way off the mark! And I have heard from a pretty reliable source that if you're not into having a chandelier-swingin'-rumpy-pumpy, then he'd prefer you to speak up rather than him feeling like he's making you do something you don't want to do.......which brings me to that word....

...obedience. Ah, yes.

The first part of the article I agree with is the principle of obedience and humility. I agree that wives should submit to their husbands and should put their husband's needs ahead of their own BUT NOT AT THE COST OF THEIR OWN!! Which, in my opinion, means: instead of thinking "WHAT????" when a husband makes a move, the wife should think, "Well, why not?". I use that phrase - I have a think and if I haven't got a reason to abstain, then I know very well what I promised to my husband on November 17th 2001.....so how can I reject him when I've promised to love, honour and cherish him? If you do have a good reason, then perhaps saying, "Do you mind if we postpone? I'm way too tired tonight." instead of screeching, "Get off!!" would be a better choice? If you need tips on this, refer to Julie's blog - it's very practical, helpful and above all, wonderfully understanding!

The second part I agree with absolutely, of course, is about looking welcoming but not obvious. I'm a firm believer that being beautiful on the inside as well as beautiful on the outside has an incredible impact on your husband. Men are visual, remember that! And they're also incredibly vulnerable when it comes to how their wives treat them. It's a womanly charm God's blessed us with to build up and encourage our husbands. SO USE IT!!!! Who would want to cuddle or make love to a woman with curlers in her hair? Or in holey track pants (come on, we've all done it!). Or undies where the elastic is worn out and saggy? Or who treats him like an extra child she has to look after? Or laughs about him behind his back to his friends? Being sweet and looking sweet is one of the most powerful charms that wives have over their husbands - but I wonder if many of us use it as we should?

OK, so that's what I like and don't like. The stuff I'm so-so about or I'm not really sure about the importance of it would have to be the 'if he wants to sleep immediately, let him sleep' thing, 'don't take too long in the bathroom' thing and oh, yes, the cup of tea in the morning - no, sorry - SETTING YOUR ALARM so you can get him a cup of tea ready before he awakes. How British is that - that a man will wake at the same time every morning? Wow. I'm pretty sure that last one is an impossibility for me!

Overall, I don't like the whole tone of the article. I'd prefer a chat between a mum and daughter to the matronly 'well, you'll just have to put up with it' attitude overhanging the instructions to those young women in the 1960's. And whilst I definitely do not agree with feminism and believe it's been destructive to the institution of the family in our society, I'm not at all surprised that it happened. I think we need to be very careful that we don't swing the pendulum the other way - something our society is not good at, unfortunately!

So, with my two cents worth now given.........I'm out.

Comments

  1. Julie I love your honesty! you make me laugh :-) I agree with all, husband and wife are meant to cleave one unto the other, submit one unto the other, adn you would think this means in all things sex included. and I think the difference between 60's taught submission and Biblical is one was done with acts, and one is done with heart. you can do everything he says but if your not doing it out of love and the mutual realtionship you share whats the point!

    also may have to go through my undies draw ;-)

    Bless ya and well said!

    ReplyDelete
  2. Kerry, you're absolutely right - I forgot that bit about cleaving to each other and that a husband's body belongs to his wife and vice versa.

    And yes, if you're not submitting from love in your heart for your man, then you're not doing it right! Doesn't the Bible say that man looks at the outside, but God looks at the heart?

    My undie box isn't exactly sparkling either...must clean it out soon! :D

    Thanks for your comment :) x

    ReplyDelete
  3. Yup, I need new undies too. And I'm lucky to brush my hair lately... and Matt does the morning run, cos I do the night run...

    Yup, I could learn a few things, but I do think that it's good to be in a "talk about things openly" relationship.

    Great honesty Julie! Thanks, grace

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