I have the most wonderful husband. He is amazing! He'll help me with anything around the house, loves spoiling me with surprises and makes sure that I have a bath all to myself every couple of days....

However, I'm concerned that others may think that he does all this because I 'trained' him.

Ahem. I dislike this term. It reminds me of how we treat a pet. My man is not a pet!

We took a turning point in our marriage (I believe) in 2007. I was unhappy and not really enjoying all the benefits of marriage. Thanks to Above Rubies and Philosophy of Christian Womanhood (say that ten times fast!), I made a conscious decision to think of my man as how I wanted him to be, not pick on him for all his faults.

I made a point of thanking him and praising his efforts instead of picking on his mistakes. And I literally bit my tongue when we were driving somewhere and let him decide what route we took!

This was one of the HARDEST things I have ever done. Every single time I thought a negative thought about him, I immediately threw the thought out and said a little prayer thanking God for him.....even sometimes through gritted teeth and frustration ("THANK YOU God, that I have a husband to pick up socks for!")

And slowly, a funny thing happened. I couldn't actually remember any of his faults! I could only see all the good things he did.....and I fell in love with him again.

We've still had our ups and downs, but I have to say that instead of our marriage getting colder and more boring, it's getting warmer and definitely more exciting.

I still experience negative thoughts, but it's become second-nature to chuck them out of my head before I even think them!

So, the only 'training' I did was to my toxic, negative thoughts......and the results are definitely worth all the effort!


  1. The Journey of certainly does get better the more selfless we become! Loved your post. Looking forward to reading more. xoxoxox


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